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Thread: A composition - My school

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    19

    Default A composition - My school

    Dear Pete,

    Thanks for your help. This time, I wrote a composition about my school. I think there are many mistakes. But I don’t know how to correct them. Could you please help me correct it.

    Thank you very much,

    Mk

    -----------------------------------------------------

    My school

    I have been studying Japanese in this school for near three years. The course will finish in this summer. That means I don’t need to walk twenty minutes for going to school in Sundays in coming July.

    The school is called “ABCs School” and in the downtown. There is a main road in front of the building. On the left hand side, there is a Catholic Church. On Sundays, a lot of Romanist goes to that church. The school is a seven-storied house. The lower the three levels is a public hall. The upper levels are the classrooms. There are two classrooms on each level. Our classroom is in level 7. We need to take the lift to be there. If the lift has problem, we should use the stair to get to the level 7. The classroom is not too big. It has 30 seats. A huge air-conditioner is hanged on the ceiling. If the air-conditioner is turned on, even the temperature is set in 24 degrees, the room temperature will decrease beyond the setting very fast then we need to request our teacher to turn it off.

    On Sundays, I get off the train and walk along the main road to the school. It takes almost twenty minutes walk. The road is very crowed, a lot of vehicles running on the road. It causes much noise and makes the air dirty. But on the roadside, there are a lot of trees. In the summer, the trees grow some flowers. We can smell the flowers on the road.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Virginia, USA
    Posts
    3,695

    Default Re: A composition - My school

    -- Here are some corrections and/or suggestions:

    My school

    I have been studying Japanese in this school for <strike>near</strike> nearly three years. The course will finish <strike>in</strike> this summer. That means I <strike>don’t</strike> won't need to walk twenty minutes <strike>for going</strike> to go to school <strike>in</strike> on Sundays in the coming July.

    The school is called “ABCs School” and <strike>in the</strike> is located downtown. There is a main road in front of the building. On the left hand side, there is a Catholic Church. On Sundays, a lot of <strike>Romanist goes</strike> Roman Catholics go to that church. The school is a seven-storied house. The lower <strike>the</strike> three levels <strike>is</strike> house a public hall. The upper levels are the classrooms. There are two classrooms on each level. Our classroom is <strike>in</strike> on level 7. We need to take the lift to <strike>be</strike> get there. If the lift has a problem, we <strike>should</strike> have to use the stair to get to <strike>the</strike> level 7. The classroom is not too big. It has 30 seats. A huge air-conditioner is <strike>hanged on</strike> hung from the ceiling. If the air-conditioner is turned on, even though the temperature is set <strike>in</strike> to 24 degrees, the room temperature will decrease beyond the setting very fast, and then we need to request our teacher to turn it off.

    On Sundays, I get off the train and walk along the main road to the school. <strike>It</strike> The walk takes almost twenty minutes <strike>walk</strike>. The road is very <strike>crowed,</strike> crowded, with a lot of vehicles running on the road. <strike>It</strike> This causes much noise and makes the air dirty. But on the roadside, there are a lot of trees. In the summer, the trees grow some flowers. We can smell the flowers on the road.

    -- (General comment: Someone reading about your school might be interested in hearing more about what is taught there, the background of the teachers and how good they are, and what the students are like and what they do with what they have learned after they finish.)
    ---- Pete

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    19

    Default

    Dear Pete,

    Thanks for your reply and correct my composition. I have a question about the words "Romanist" and "Roman Catholics". I looked up the dictionary and found that they are in same meaning. Why do you use "Roman Catholics" rather than "Romanist" ?

    And I will add you comments onto "my school". Please give me some time, It will be completed on the next week.

    Thanks,

    mk

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